Saturday, November 24, 2007

A Thanksgiving to be thankfull for

This Thanksgiving was an interesting one to say the least. A week ago I got an email from Cody's biological Father Jarrod, asking if he could come see Cody some time before Christmas and what gift he could get for the boys. I was a little thrown off, and had a lot of reservations but in my heart I knew this was the right thing for both Cody and Jarrod to grow. I've always promised Mikey and Cody's biological fathers that if they were to ever grow up enough and want to know these amazing Kids that I wouldn't keep them from them so long as their lives were in order (no drugs, alcoholism, have a on) But that these men would only ever Uncle or family friend roll. Well, I told him that we had thanksgiving break or Christmas break and so he thought Thanksgiving break would be a good time. I made sure I talked to Jon about it in depth before I said yes or no, I wanted his opinion, and he told me that he knew that as hard as it was for him to say yes and allow this, that it's the right thing to do, that if we have truly forgiven Jarrod for his choices earlier in Cody's life as we say we have, that we should have no problem saying yes, so we said yes.
I made sure to talk to Cody in depth about this. He and Mikey have always known that he has a Daddy that helped Make him and a Daddy who loves and cares for him. It was something Jon and I always felt we had to be honest with the about. We told them that the Daddy that helped make them wasn't grown up enough to love and take care of them the way they deserved to be loved and so Heavenly Father had special Father (JON) set aside who could love us all unconditionally. Cody was excited about meeting him, this is the first time they have ever seen one another. It was CREEPY how much a like they looked and how many little idiosyncrasies they had in common, facial expressions, mannerisms. They took to each other like they were best friends. Coloring, chatting, playing football, eating was really cool. Jarrod brought his girlfriend Courtney with him. She was really sweet, she is a prek teacher and came bearing gifts. She brought Cody a giant Tupperware container full of art supplies! Markers, crayons, paints, papers, and a giant coloring book of pirates of the Caribbean, which he can jarrod colored a lot of and had me help him hang them all over the house. as of today we have She also brought Cody a stuffed Rat , Remy, from Ratatouille, and Mikey the brother Rat, Eimile, and Matthew a great set of soft toy cars that he went BONKERS over. They were great about playing with all three boys, and not showing Cody too much favoritism..well they tried really hard!

We ended up having Mom for Thanksgiving and Amy stopped by but had to jet, the rest of the family were off having dinner at their in laws houses this year. Dinner was great,but after a long day of cooking,..I wasn't all that!
The next morning Jarrod had invited Cody to go swimming at Hiese hot springs and I think that he felt a little scared to go alone so he asked Mikey and I to come along. We went but let Jarrod and Cody and Courtney have some alone time in the pool , let them talk and get to know him. They played in the water with Mikey too so he wouldn't feel left out.
After wards I caved and let Jarrod and Courtney take Cody to leo's place and a movie. I don't think I will do it again soon, not that they did anything wrong, they didn't, I just wasn't ready for that, it was a big step and I just didn't feel fully comfortable with it just yet, but hey I am really trying! They came back and colored some more, and just had some time hanging out in his room playing. After they left Cody was really clingy, and you could tell his emotions were all over the place. He slept with me last night and told me over and over that he thinks jarrod is really cool and lots of fun but that his Daddy is cooler and he misses him. I told him it's ok to care for Jarrod and that Jon won't be mad if he does, that he isn't in trouble for caring for him. Things went much better than expected and he did really well with all of this. I was really proud of Mikey too, taking it all in stride. He was really mature about trying to give them some alone time.
As for other news, Jon is on the move, he is no longer in Kuwait and is finally in Iraq. He isn't to his final destination, but at least he's half way there. They just really want to get there and get working! All this "hurry up and wait" is getting to these men, they are men of action and being retrained each week on stuff they trained on for months is getting to them. Jon needs a busy environment to help him pass the time.
Jon is getting over a nasty cold, and as some of you know he got burned by some flying shell casing that went down the back of his neck between his neck and IBAS (built proof vest) so they were stuck there a few seconds really searing onto his skin, it's only 2nd degree burns but where they are his clothes rub at it all day, and I'm sure it's painful, but typical Jon, he isn't complaining about it.! MAN I love him! well I hope you all enjoyed your holiday! Love THE HOWARDS!

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